Sunday, December 22, 2013

Spectator's Christmas Present

Well we had a weird before Christmas event, War came and visited at Trish’s dad’s place of all places.  Well technically it’s Trish’s dad’s father’s friend’s house that he is looking after.  Not important, point is War is here somehow.  (You can thank me later, but applause is needed. – Spectator.)   As you can see on War’s blog here he summarized everything for us and agreed to help with our little problem.  No really, the Unnamed Child is short, she is a kid.  Though I don’t think he has a choice as Spectator would let him leave anyway. Yeah Spectator is kind of brat. You’re one to talk. Hey I’m not a brat! 
But the real party happened yesterday, aka the Winter Solstice, and I mean it when I say we had a party.  And the first guest that arrived was Stag who Trish and I notice standing outside of the house.

“Everybody out the back now!” I yelled.

“Why?” War asked as he grabbed his weapon and started to head towards the back.

“Let’s just say there is an evil Xerneas out there,” I said dragging War out the door faster.

“What’s a Xerneas?” 

“Giant super-horned deer thing.”  We need to work on randomly naming things.

“Oh, Stagnation,” War said finally grasping what I meant.

The three of us made a mad dash outside where we jumped the fence and ran through some of the neighbors’ yards to escape the Miyazaki Rip-off.  One of the neighbors’ dogs tried to chase after us but out of nowhere *poof* Stag appeared.  Me and Trish ran to the left than ran straight past him and kept going forward, War took a sharp right and ran of getting separated from us, but the dog that was chasing us just suddenly drop probably joining Stag’s doll collection. 

Me and Trish kept going until we reached the deeper sections of the city where we stopped to catch our breath.  “Running… from… Hates… pretty damn good… exercise,” I said between breathes.  Did we really need to run from that guy?  Yeah, it does seem like a waste of energy.

“Oh god run!” Trish said before taking off down the city’s streets. 

“Goddamnit more running.”  I chased after her, not willing to leave her alone while Stag is after us, but when I looked back I didn't see anything behind us.

“What did you see,” I asked once I caught up to her.

“Eyes, those fucking red eyes.”

Then came the bigger surprise, Door. I then pulled out one of my M1911’s and aimed it at him.

“What do you want Pseudo?” I said to Door.

“Pseudo or not, and the answer is not, a gun is not going to kill me.”

“Maybe it won’t kill you, but that doesn’t mean it won’t hurt like a bitch.”

“But isn’t that your friend?” questioned Trish.

“Only in physical appearance.”

“Wow, you’re a dick,” Door deadpanned.

“Oh so this is new information.” 

Then War suddenly ran up towards me, “Oh good there you guys are.  Look we’ve got another issu- oh fuck is that Kyle?”

“Hey there Fred,” Door said waving.

“Virgil don’t tell me you plan on shooting him.”  

“Not in the head.  You’ve got to protect that pretty face.”

“Hey there pseudo.  Having fun in that separate dimension where I can’t see you like a little bitch,” said Spectator who appeared leaning on Door’s shoulder.

“Ugh, you.”

“Ah, so friendly.”

“What do you want?”

“I was here to give you a Christmas present.” 

“But it’s not Christmas yet,” I added then under my breath.

”But little Source the Solstice is OUR Christmas.”

“While do I feel like you’re BSing me since you did say you can’t tell mortal time.”

“Damnit he’s catching on to me,” gasped Spectator.

“Do you mind?” Door rudely interpreted, “I was in the middle of something.”  Behind him the space started to ripple and fire and ice formed floating in the air behind him.

“Seems like a lot of people are in the middle of something.”

“Actually I do mind.  You see that guy there,” said Spectator pointing towards me, “he is my favorite tv show and I really wouldn’t like to see you cancel him.  So back off Cartoon Network.”

“First my host would like you to know that he enjoyed your joke.  Second do you really want to take me on during the Solstice?  I will make you my little bitch.”

“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  I’m sorry I can’t take you seriously,” Spectator paused and looked around really quick.  “We’ve got company.”  At that moment Stagnation appeared on the road behind me.

“Crap I thought we outran you.”

“That’s not all,” said War pointing to something else.  It looked like three giant people standing in a triangle
with their eyes closed, holding hands, and they were all made up of other smaller people.

“What?” said Trish.

“I wonder what happens when I put bullets into that.”

“Ah, it is you.  I knew it was you,” Spectator said to the new monstrosity.

 “He isn’t here,” I overheard Door mention.

“You’re right pseudo.”

“We’re fucked,” War muttered.

“Eh, I’ve gotten out of pretty bad situations before.”  Then it got worse, which I should have seen coming. Next I saw Slendy standing there behind Door.

When Door noticed Slendy behind him he jumped and floated away from him.  “Great you of all beings.”

Spectator teleported beside Slendy and put his arm around his shoulder, “Hey buddy how are you doing?  Long time no see.”  Naturally Slendy just stared straight ahead not reacting at all.  “That’s why I like you buddy, you don’t talk and you’re a great listener.”

Then our last guest the Unnamed Child arrived. 

“Damnit, where are the Easter Bunny and Master Chief.  John 117 was supposed to invite Solid Snake to the Christmas party this year and I still haven’t been invited.”

“Oh hey what are you doing here?” Spectator asked the Unnamed Child.  “Yeah, yeah I know that her mom is your property but that’s not what this about.  So, that’s not what this is about.  So what if they are planning to get rid of you that’s later.  Hey! No need for that kind of language young lady!  ‘Kay you want a fight we’ll give you a fight.”  Then he teleport over to Door and leaning over to him said, “Hey you might want to run again.  You don’t want to die a third time and you know what they say, third time is the charm.”  Then the entities all start to get ready for a fight with Stag lowering his head pointing out his antlers, the new guy just stood there, Door started to affect the space around him and engulf himself in a shield of ice and flames, the Child just glared, and Slendy had thousands of tentacles erupting out of him.  Spectator looked at the three of us standing there in awe, “Sorry kids, but this show is for adults only.” 

With that there was a snap and War, Trish, and myself all we all woke up on the couch in the living room. 

“Well that was a thing,” I said.

   

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

The 12 Fears of Chirstmas

On the 1st day of Christmas the Smiling Man gave to me 1 crimson Cypress.

On the 2nd day of Christmas the Dying Man gave to me two sibling shards and a crimson Cypress.

On the 3rd day of Christmas the Choir gave to me 3 banshees a screaming, two sibling shards, and a crimson Cypress.

On the 4th day of Christmas the Black dog gave to me 4 severed limbs, 3 banshees a screaming, two sibling shards, and a crimson Cypress.

On the 5th day of Christmas the Archangel gave to me 5 possessed corpses, 4 severed limbs, 3 banshees a screaming, two sibling shards, and a crimson Cypress.

On the 6th day of Christmas the Intrusion gave to me 6 nests a crawling, 5 possessed corpses, 4 severed limbs, 3 banshees a screaming, two sibling shards, and a crimson Cypress.

On the 7th day of Christmas the Plague Doctor gave to me 7 vials of doomsday juice, 6 nests a crawling, 5 possessed corpses, 4 severed limbs, 3 banshees a screaming, two sibling shards, and a crimson Cypress.

On the 8th day of Christmas the Intrusion gave to me 8 nests a crawling, 7 vials of doomsday juice, 6 nests a crawling, 5 possessed corpses, 4 severed limbs, 3 banshees a screaming, two sibling shards, and a crimson Cypress.

On the 9th day of Christmas the Wooden Girl gave to me 9 puppets dancing, 8 nests a crawling, 7 vials of doomsday juice, 6 nests a crawling, 5 possessed corpses, 4 severed limbs, 3 banshees a screaming, two sibling shards, and a crimson Cypress.

On the 10th day of Christmas the Grotesque gave to me 10 waking nightmares, 9 puppets dancing, 8 nests a crawling, 7 vials of doomsday juice, 6 nests a crawling, 5 possessed corpses, 4 severed limbs, 3 banshees a screaming, two sibling shards, and a crimson Cypress.

On the 11th day of Christmas EAT 11 ichors a spreading, 10 walking nightmares, 9 puppets dancing, 8 nests a crawling, 7 vials of doomsday juice, 6 nests a crawling, 5 possessed corpses, 4 severed limbs, 3 banshees a screaming, two sibling shards, and a crimson Cypress.

On 12th day of Christmas the Slender Man gave to me 12 proxies hunting, 11 ichors a spreading, 10 walking nightmares, 9 puppets dancing, 8 nests a crawling, 7 vials of doomsday juice, 6 nests a crawling, 5 possessed corpses, 4 severed limbs, 3 banshees a screaming, two sibling shards, and a crimson Cypress.

On the last day of Christmas the Quiet gave to me... nothing, absolutely nothing.

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I can hear all of you at your computers thinking, "Did Source really just waste time with that?"  Yes, yes I did.  No we didn't!  That was not a waste guys.  Actually, I must agree with that prediction, it was a bit waste.  I don't know I thought it was fun.  Agreed.  Oh, oh I can't wait to hear our new song on the radio!  That may be going to far.

I didn't get on just to post my Christmas parody, but I've got some actual news too.  Last Saturday Trish asked me for a favor that I was really against.  For good reason.  Trish told me that we weren't that far from where she lives, about 3 hours, and she was hoping she could see her family and let them know she was okay.  I told her no at first but after a while she wore me down and I agreed to drive down there and we just arrived two hours ago.  I just know her house is going to be surrounded by proxies.  EXACTLY I'LL BE SO MUCH FUN.  I feel like my Christmas will be like Iron Man 3's.  Oh I wonder if I can get an Iron Man suit.  I want a Mark XXXIX armor.  Naturally we told Trish to be careful while we're here and not to leave the RV without us, because there are probably proxies looking for her.  I hope this turns out well for her.