Monday, October 28, 2013

Maleficent's Revenge

Sorry Batman distracted me from posting. IT'S SO GOOD! Troy Baker is a god among voice actors. YES!!!! Goes without saying. C͏̛́͢à̢̢n̶̕͟͝͡'̸̢͢t͘͠͠͡ ̨́̀͠͠a̴͝r̴̨̀g̶͏͏͝u̴͢͟ę̸̵͞.͏̢͘͏  Well I guess it's time to tell our readers about the interview. I went to the coma dudes house. Coma dude seriously? What do you want me to call him? Codename: Sleeping Beauty! Why the fuck not? So basically he answered the door and invited me in and I started the interview.

Me: There are several similar cases to what you have gone through. The symptoms being, slow talking, staring into the distance for long period of time, and finally falling into a coma after a one to two week period of the latter events happening. Would you confirm this to be similar to what happened to you in the past before finally waking up?

Sleepy: Yeah that about covers it.

Me: Do you know what you could trigger your coma? Like anything that you did or were around that was odd in your opinion that you remember?

Walt: If you mean any drug or weird fumes, no. Not that I can remember. But I was in a coma for a pretty long time.

Me: For the paper can you tell me the date you woke up?

Aurora (Keep in mind this guy is actually a dude): April 6th

Me: Seriously?

I CAN'T THINK OF MORE DISNEY REFERENCES: Yes...why?

Me: Ehhhhh....no reason? I know it's probably hard to remember but did you by a chance see a twenty point buck with highly elongated horn?

Prince Philip (There we go): You said you were a med student correct?

Me: Yeah?

Grumpy: Cut the bullshit or get out of my house

Me: Okay fine god. I'm not a med student but in my defense I doubt most people would talk to me if I didn't make up an excuse like that. Plus most people have been believing the acid trip excuse.

Snow White: So you're here about the deer?

Me: So you did see it?

Insert Disney Character here: You still haven't answered my question.

Me: Well given that I personally met it yeah

Recycle name: Wait you met the Deer?

Me: Yeah If it wasn't for another entity I probably would be in the boat you were in for those many years.

King Stephan (Google saved my life): So let me get this straight you not only me the deer physically but also another entity?

Me: You don't know about the Fears do you? Meh...It's best you don't find out. Bottom line yes.

(Oh man it's hard to keep this joke going): That's amazing I've never seen him manifest in the real world before.

Me: Oh fuck! You're telling me that him showing up here hasn't happened before.

Coma dude: No, I've only seen him in my dreams or when I spaced out.

Me: And you said you woke up April 6th right?

Coma dude: Yeah I'm pretty sure I know the day I woke up.

Me: Well just to make sure I covered everything, what happened in your extremely long sleep?

And now he becomes the Narrator:  What I remember is a lot of flashes of people I knew like my wife, parents, friends.  But all it was, was just those people smiling or saying, "hello."  It was really simple, but it made you really happy all the same.  But then, then my family started to say something different instead of "hello," it was, "wake up," or, "please wake up."  I was confused.  Why would they tell me that I needed to wake up when I was so satisfied?  Then it happened my mind realized it was being trick and I saw.  This time though for real.  What I saw looked like a... I don't know rows of tall, crystal towers each of which contained a persons standing still with their eyes closed.  They were, for lack of a better word, sleeping like I was.  Then the Deer appeared in front of me and said something, but I only remember parts of it.  Uh, I think it said something about how I shouldn't have been able to awake, how things were changing soon, and that I learned my lesson or some bullshit like that then I woke up.  Now here, we are a few months later.

Me: So you saw his dimension too huh?

Coma dude: You mean you escaped from that place also?

Me: Dragged out is more accurate.

Coma dude: Anything else you need to know?

Me: Not that I can think of but I'll call if I think of something.

After that I left his place and drove in a random direction as usual. Best to keep stuff off our trail as best as possible. And if you guys don't realize what April 6th is here you go. I still need to piece things together but April 6th is a puzzle to a picture that's coming together nicely.

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