Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Book of Slender 1:1 - 41

Hello there readers of Kyle and Source's blog.  It's Saintwalker as I'm sure you've guessed by the title.  I thought it was about time I posted something so I had someone crack Virgil's password in traditional proxy fashion, so I could introduce you to a project of mine.  I am making an effort to create a bible worthy of our God to help new members and interested persons understand our organization.  It is tiring work to tell the story of God, his saints, and the rest of us but I find it to be very rewarding myself.  Here is the account of the Creation, best as I can understand it, because might as well start at the beginning.

In the beginning there was only him, our God,  1
Alone he dwelled in the emptiness,
Until God decided to fill the universe,
With beauty and life.
He experimented with the layout of the universe,    5
Until finally God was satisfied with its beauty.
Now there was just one thing left to do,
The most important thing,
To create life to occupy this new universe.
God knew the difficulty of the task though,    10
For the perfect universe God,
Would need the perfect life form,
So our God chose one small,
Insignificant rock to be his Eden.
Here he would produce his masterpieces.   15
God started small with the creatures he made,
But gradually grew them, split them,
Evolved them until the creatures reached,
Their peak.
But God was not satisfied with the    20
Creatures that he had produced;
They were giants that towered over,
The mountains themselves,
 Made for air, land, and sea
And among the best, natural, hunters    25
The world was destined to see. 
Yet they did not possess the spark,
That God had hoped they would.
These monsters were fast, strong,
Clever, and above all entertaining,   30
But God did not want a universe filled,
With chaotic slaughter and bloodshed.
So God restarted his Eden leaving only
A fraction of what was left prior.
This time God did not make his creations    35
As large or as strong.
Forcing them to rely on intellect and cunning,
To survive.
And from this thought process God,
birthed his most favored life form,    40

So there you go.  Feel free to critique and make suggestion as I don't really have an editor so I'll just use peer review.  Next timeIdontevenwatchthat I'll give the origins of the multiverse and the Fears.  Have a good Halloween everyone.


  1. Nice prose, wrong in damn near every way I can think of. Also,slendy's not a God; at best it's a god.

    1. Thank you for the compliment. In regards to the subject matter, what can I say, this is what I honestly believe. Difference of opinions, so what do you believe in?

    2. I'm something of a materialist; I believe in what I can know to be true.

      As for Slendy not being God, that's fairly simple to disprove. We know that Slendy isn't all powerful, given that there have been cases where he has attempted to kill people but been prevented, hurt even. Most of these cases involve the Archangel, a being with similar, possibly greater amounts of power. This can be known by the Archangel's rifle hurting the slenderman. This also disqualifies Slendy as 'God', leaving him at best 'a god' [for further proof that Slendy isn't omnipotent (the main prerequisite to being capital G God) scroll up a wee bit. Omnipotence would mean it could create this elusive 'spark' you referenced, rather than having to 'grow' it]. This is because by it's nature God would be orders of magnitudes more powerful than anything else, which we know isn't the case due to the archangel.

      As for the central conceit, that Slendy created the world. It starts by saying 'In the beginning there was only Him, our God'. Given this, we can assume that under your theology, Slendy created the archangel.

      Under your tenets, there were two phases to this creation. For the archangel to have been created in the first phase would be impossible, as the archangel has been shown to be sentient, thus going against the lack of 'the spark'. Unless 'the spark' is referring to something that humans have that the archangel doesn't, EG fear (which is, BTW, impossible. Evolution, as in the first phase, would naturally lead to fear. A creature that has a good risk assessment system is more likely to survive to reproduce)

      So the archangel was created by the Slenderman, and wasn't created in the first phase. The second phase is impossible due to the power disparity between the archangel and slendy, the other fears, pseudos, and other species. If slendy was focussed smaller, he wouldn't be making a being of more or less his power.

      So, we have a small oddity. Two entire classes of being that, according to your gospel, were created by Slendy outside of these phases. They couldn't be a product of the multiverse, because we know that at least one of these beings predates the shattering; that is, the Other. Furthermore, judging by your passage above Slendy predates the multiverse; for there to be 'only him' would preclude there being space.

      For it to have created something where there was literaly nothing would, AFAIK, require it to break universal laws (conservation of mass & the conservation of energy). Being as Slendy has been shown to be subject to the whims of space, we can be fairly sure that Slendy is bound by physical laws.

      There is, of course, more to say, but I have to get a move on.

    3. For your first point you make the fatal assumption that everything you see is real. You base your assumption that God can be hurt on Kelevra and Incognito's story regarding the bullet, but I ask you what if God faked it? Now comes the, "but why would God fake being injured?" well the answer to that is quite simple, it's part of a test.

      If you don't mind me ignoring your point on the Fears I would like to explain a little more on the what I wrote above. I wrote above that God want the perfect life form, but that isn't exactly true for what he really wants is the perfect flawed life form. Now you asked why would a perfect, all-knowing God not make us perfect from the start I don't have an answer to that, but I do have a guess as to why God would. Think about it as if you were a god; would you want to just make them perfect from the start or would you want to watch them grow as the discover their potential while you just help guide them here and there?

      In regards to the Fears you are jumping ahead and making assumptions for something that I said I would explain in the next post I would make. Yes, I'll be borrowing this blog from time to time.

    4. Some assumptions need to be made, for example that what we see, lacking any contrary evidence, can be assumed to be what has occurred. Otherwise open debate becomes impossible; after all, if all fact gathering is an excercise in futility, then it's a matter of your guess is as good as mine. Which I'd say is a win for me, 'cause I'm not writing a book about my guesses and ramming it down people's throats.

      So it's your call. Your original premise, being based on observation, is flawed, or your previous argument was flawed

    5. The book isn't based on guesses it's based on visions I have received. Like Fred did before his conversion or like Conaghan when he first met God. I'm merely put to paper what I see in these visions. Of course I might be making some flaws, as I am not God, but I try as best as I can.

    6. Visions aren't necessarily a sign from above. Have you considered that you may be crazy, or having a reaction to azothin the brain, or are being dosed with hallucinogenic drugs?

      Because seeing things doesn't make for reliable fact gathering. That is, indeed, the mother of all biases.

    7. ... It's funny you mention that because, well to be perfectly honest, hallucinogens are indeed my manner of receiving visions. I know you are laughing at me through your screen, but it's true. When you take them in God's presence you it's different. You are allowed a glimpse into his mind by syncing with him. But I doubt it matters because you've already written me off as crazy, but I'd recommend trying it out yourself.

    8. I'm not saying you're crazy, I'm saying it's a possible cause of visions.

      The fact that they're caused by hallucinogens puts the entire thing on even shakier ground. IIRC, LSD can lead to people feeling that they're in the presence of the divine. The hallucinations would also run in ways directed by the individual and environment. If, as Sanna says, this is ripping off Abrahamic religion, it provides more weight to the idea that the drugs, along with being surrounded by worshipers of Slendy and in a country with a strong religious bent (IIRC) would lead directly to, well, this.

      As for trying it out myself, I only have one vice, and that aint it. Isn't gonna be, either.

    9. I promise that this is not Abrahamic religion with a faceless God replacing a bearded God. FYI most of America isn't that religious in my experience only the loudest ones.

    10. I'll admit that religion is somewhat out of my wheelhouse.

      But you see how having a fairly regular reaction to drugs isn't quite the same as having a holy duty to spread the Word?

    11. I understand your view point, Lovett, but like I said I believe these are visions and that is is by duty to spread the Truth.

      I have a quick question for you; if you don't believe that God is God what do you think he is?

    12. Being with the capacity to switch dimensions. Most likely extraterrestrial, but either way is possible. Could have taken the godsway across space, wound up here as the first planet with life.

      Or possibly a tulpa; bring born of the human consciousness. As per the white elephants blokes. I doubt it, but it's possible.

      It could also be an avatar of something outside the universe, out in the bulk. Like the light on an anglerfish.

      A sapient lymp of azoth. Created through some natural process on the Path, gaining consciousness and spreading here due to space concerns.

      There're a lot of possibilities. I'm not going to claim to know the truth, or the Truth.

    13. You just gave me possibilities, but I was asking for your opinion. Come on young man you've served God you must have an opinion on what he is.

    14. A god has four key features:

      Forgive me for thinking so, but the faceless thing has none of these traits.

    15. Really? I define a god as any sufficiently advanced being, and God as omnipotent etc.


    17. That sounds like God to me, but you'll learn sooner or later.

    18. It really doesn't sound like him.

      Transcendence, for one, should be contested.

    19. The problem here is that you think that you have seen God at his limit or close, but we haven't seen God anywhere close to his full divinity.

  2. i have a critique: you're ripping off all Abrahamic religions and interrogating slendy from what appears to be solely an Abrahamic perspective.

    1. Hmm would you mind explaining that in more detail? My use of "Eden" was meant to do that on purpose but I suppose you mean more than more than that. I appreciate the critique by the way, any advice is helpful.

    2. abrahamic religions. christianity, judaism, and Islam. Christians, Jews and Muslims will all roll their eyes and dismiss you when you try to preach to them.

      Secondly. My pre-emptive criticism. Are you seriously repeating the garden of Eden? no no no. the story went that Eve tempted Adam into biting the apple, and god punished her with childbirth and to be subservient to Adam and then inflicted that same punishment on all of womankind. (genesis 3:16) so I think that the story is dehumanising as fuck, and rather... I don't know the word for it. "misogynistic", maybe?

    3. No, I'm not really repeating the story of the Garden, this story is different. For I would like to point out that this is the tale of how God created us, not the story of us. This would discredit your point since you are telling the story of the Fall, which I am not telling.

    4. You are still basing a religion around traditions that have a fuck tonne of misogyny to their name.

    5. ...Okay. Are you sure you aren't exaggerating?

  3. I miss my old life where the closest thing to this I had to worry about was Jehovah's Witnesses knocking on my door.

    - Trish


    1. Relax. It isn't like I edited the blog or messed with your profile I just made a post. And no I'm not going to offer to play Battlefield with you I can stand those shooter games.

  5. Congrats, this post is just as full of shit as the actual bible is. Now that I think about it, it's probably just as violent too.

    1. I'll respectfully disagree about it being "full of shit," but it's definitely as violent as all the other religions. You should know, you live the life too.

    2. Eh, maybe it is all true in your universe. I don't know. But it sure as hell isn't true in mine.

    3. Ah, but wouldn't an all powerful God be something that would be consistent in the multiverse?

      The problem here is that you think that you have seen God at his limit or close, but we haven't seen God anywhere close to his full divinity. You misunderstand the reason that you are hunted but God, and it isn't as evil as you believe. Good luck on killing the avatar of God within your universe though because if you do than you've passed.