Today's post is where the real crazy shit happens. I found myself in this weird white place with these platforms that looked like skyscrapers with no windows. It was a really boring place. No pancakes either. What does that have to do with anything? I'm hungry. We are fragments of his mind we don't feel hungry.
"Welcome to my domain. Do not worry poor, child of madness I shall put you at ease. Soon you will not have to worry about the curse that is known as action for you will be still. You see it is action that is the root of your problems. When a person acts that action will always result in pain perhaps not for themselves, but it will cause pain to someone else around them; a ripple effect. It is only once you humans abandon action, chaos, that you will be perfect. You will be at peace."
"You want ME to stand still," I said getting ticked off, "You think my madness is a curse?" I said getting angrier
"Of course," said the deer s-l-o-w-l-y stretching out his words, "it is a curse that all your kind suffers." I reached for my guns but they weren't on me. "See you prove my point. Your actions only bring pain to you and those around you."
"Will you shut up?" I said getting even more angry at the stupid deer fuck.
Who then proceeded to (again slowly) smile, "Oh dear you have it much worse than the others I've encountered."
I ran at him wanting to rip those fucking antlers off his stupid fucking golden head. Only to find that the bastard somehow preventing me from moving. I slowly started moving my foot it feel like every muscle in my body was put on breaks and frozen.
"Tell me son of madness why do you struggle so? I am only trying to heal you."
"I AM NOT SICK!" I yelled angerly.
"You say that, yet your actions do nothing to improve your condition only worsen it."
"CAUSE I WANT TO BE CRAZY YOU FUCKING IDIOT!" I yelled at the retarded entity.
He chuckled at me, "Shhh. Now why would you want that?"
"Your actions, your chaos, prevents you from living a happy life. You always struggle in search of something missing in your lives that you think will provide you with happiness; sex, love, children, enjoyment, but it's all meaningless. these things only provide you with a temporary numbness to the pain. That thing you are searching for does not exist though. It's a design flaw in you humans, and because of this you can not enjoy the perfect, pure lives you were meant to have. I though have taken pity on you humans and seek to aid you in a recovery from chaos."
"Why would I want to recover from something so....exciting," I said smiling devilishly taking a step towards him finally.
The miserable deer fuck looked at me with a face(?) full of confusion that I must admit I enjoyed, "I don't understand."
"I don't look for any of those petty things you mentioned," I told the stupid deer, "What do I need to look for when I found what I want?" I asked, "I love the feeling of being insane, I'm actually grateful to War for doing this to me."
"How can you deceive yourself so, child of chaos? Every action that you make is governed by how much excitement you will get to ease your pain. You claim also that you seek not love or sex, yet you lusted after the child of Darkness despite the risk to your health. And what of the lost child of fear that you now 'protect' do you not always comment of her pleasing physical appearance?"
"WILL YOU SHUT UP ALREADY!" I yelled at him starting to move my feet one after the other feeling like lead blocks were on my feet and my joints were rusted.
"Poor child of madness, when you are are faced with your true flaws you only deny them and lash out at the one trying to free you from the illusion. Can you not see that I am here to help you, to erase the very source of all you pain?"
"I AM NOT MAKING A FUCKING DEAL WITH A DEVIL!" I yelled at him, "I WILL FUCKING KILL ONE THOUGH!"
"I count three errors in your logic; I am not a devil but a healer, I cannot be killed, and I am not offering a deal but panacea."
By this point I made it to right in front of the deer face to face(?). I moved my arm to punch it when I found myself back where I started as if I never moved. Suddenly I was force on to the ground and was completely unable to move, breath, or even blink.
"But worry no more for in mere moments you will be cured of you mad desires," The golden deer told me.
"I think what he needs is a Phoenix Down," A new voice said.
"Who intrudes?" questioned the now pissed off deer(at least I think he was mad. Hard to tell really)
"Intrudes?" the voice said, "Bitch I go where I please."
"Ah, Apathetic One, what is it that you want?"
"Hey! If anyone is apathetic here it's you," the voice replied, "Now get your sorry excuse to exist out of here before I have to actually do something, venison."
"Apathetic One you are the one that has entered my domain uninvited. Again, why have you come?"
"I don't feel like telling you," the playful voice said in a childish manner. (Not a child)
"Then leave my domain," The 'angry?' deer said.
"Fine then I'm taking the kid," the strange voice said.
"That is why you have come? Why have you taken an interest in the child of chaos?"
"He's one of the only entertaining things I have seen in this game for a really long time," Awesome voice said.
"It is sad to see you taking joy in their flaws, Apathetic One," Buzz-kill Bambi said.
"Why should I give you the child of chaos? You threaten me but you seem to forget this is my domain and here you hold no power."
"Are you brave enough to back your claim?" The heroic voice said.
"If need be I shall," said the dickish voice.
"Eh your boring anyway," the voice said, "I'm mean seriously Slendy is much more entertaining than you, deer meat. And why would I let you take away a channel to watch?"
"So you shall leave my domain?" the deer asked the voice.
"This child's soul has been poisoned and I will purify it," the Prince of the Forest of Boredom said. (Man he just won't quit with that curing shtick will he?)
"I could annoy you for eternity you know," the voice said.
"This grows old. This is your last chance Apathetic One," the deer trying to be scary said
A man in a grey suit and blue dress shirt appeared in front of me between me and the stag. He then slapped me. After that I woke up in the RV at the table next to the man eating cereal.
"Morning sunshine," he said in between bites
"Who the hell are you?" I asked utterly confused
He didn't answer, just continued to eat.
"Well?" I asked him getting annoyed.
"Hey," the man said, "I am eating it's rude to have a conversation with someone eating."
He went back to eating every bite I got more annoyed. He finally finished after eating the entire box. To bad those anime ticked off marks don't exist. He took my favorite cereal.
"Now who the hell are you?" I said pissed off.
"You're so easy to tick off," the man said, "That dumbass deer feeds off that, you know."
"He feeds off what?" I asked.
"Anger," he said as if I was a child (which you are), "do I have to spell it out for you?"
"No," I growled, "Can you tell me who you are now?"
"Hmmm," the man voiced thinking, "Well since I don't really play like the others you can call me Spectator."
"What do you mean you don't play?" I asked, "Wait you mean The Game, that Door guy was talking about is actually something?
"Door?" Spectator asked, "Oh! You mean that Psuedo that's possessing your bud."
"Psuedo?" I asked him.
"You know false, wanna-be, not even good enough to be like bambi," he explained.
"Why did you save me?" I asked him
"Your interesting kid," he said putting his hand on my shoulder, "You remind me of me when I was your age, super-duper long ago."
"How long is that child way of explaining time?" I said (Not A Child)
"I don't know a day......or is it three millennia," he pondered aloud, "I don't know I suck with time. See ya around kid." And then he disappeared.
That was a crazy as HELL weekend. End of Post. NEXT TIME ON DRAGON BALL Z! This isn't DBZ. Be cool if it was.