Wednesday, September 25, 2013

SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY!!! And the last part of Saturday too With a bit of Monday.

Today's post is where the real crazy shit happens. I found myself in this weird white place with these platforms that looked like skyscrapers with no windows. It was a really boring place. No pancakes either. What does that have to do with anything? I'm hungry. We are fragments of his mind we don't feel hungry.

 "Welcome to my domain.  Do not worry poor, child of madness I shall put you at ease.  Soon you will not have to worry about the curse that is known as action for you will be still.  You see it is action that is the root of your problems.  When a person acts that action will always result in pain perhaps not for themselves, but it will cause pain to someone else around them; a ripple effect.  It is only once you humans abandon action, chaos, that you will be perfect.  You will be at peace."

"You want ME to stand still," I said getting ticked off, "You think my madness is a curse?" I said getting angrier

"Of course," said the deer s-l-o-w-l-y stretching out his words, "it is a curse that all your kind suffers."  I reached for my guns but they weren't on me.  "See you prove my point.  Your actions only bring pain to you and those around you."

"Will you shut up?" I said getting even more angry at the stupid deer fuck.

Who then proceeded to (again slowly) smile, "Oh dear you have it much worse than the others I've encountered."

I ran at him wanting to rip those fucking antlers off his stupid fucking golden head.  Only to find that the bastard somehow preventing me from moving.  I slowly started moving my foot it feel like every muscle in my body was put on breaks and frozen.

"Tell me son of madness why do you struggle so?  I am only trying to heal you."

"I AM NOT SICK!" I yelled angerly.

"You say that, yet your actions do nothing to improve your condition only worsen it."

"CAUSE I WANT TO BE CRAZY YOU FUCKING IDIOT!" I yelled at the retarded entity.

He chuckled at me, "Shhh.  Now why would you want that?"

"Your actions, your chaos, prevents you from living a happy life.  You always struggle in search of something missing in your lives that you think will provide you with happiness; sex, love, children, enjoyment, but it's all meaningless.  these things only provide you with a temporary numbness to the pain.  That thing you are searching for does not exist though.  It's a design flaw in you humans, and because of this you can not enjoy the perfect, pure lives you were meant to have.  I though have taken pity on you humans and seek to aid you in a recovery from chaos."

"Why would I want to recover from something so....exciting," I said smiling devilishly taking a step towards him finally.

 The miserable deer fuck looked at me with a face(?) full of confusion that I must admit I enjoyed, "I don't understand."

"I don't look for any of those petty things you mentioned," I told the stupid deer, "What do I need to look for when I found what I want?" I asked, "I love the feeling of being insane, I'm actually grateful to War for doing this to me."

 "How can you deceive yourself so, child of chaos?  Every action that you make is governed by how much excitement you will get to ease your pain.  You claim also that you seek not love or sex, yet you lusted after the child of Darkness despite the risk to your health.  And what of the lost child of fear that you now 'protect' do you not always comment of her pleasing physical appearance?"

"WILL YOU SHUT UP ALREADY!" I yelled at him starting to move my feet one after the other feeling like lead blocks were on my feet and my joints were rusted.

 "Poor child of madness, when you are are faced with your true flaws you only deny them and lash out at the one trying to free you from the illusion.  Can you not see that I am here to help you, to erase the very source of all you pain?"

"I AM NOT MAKING A FUCKING DEAL WITH A DEVIL!" I yelled at him, "I WILL FUCKING KILL ONE THOUGH!"

 "I count three errors in your logic; I am not a devil but a healer, I cannot be killed, and I am not offering a deal but  panacea."

By this point I made it to right in front of the deer face to face(?).  I moved my arm to punch it when I found myself back where I started as if I never moved.  Suddenly I was force on to the ground and was completely unable to move, breath, or even blink.

"But worry no more for in mere moments you will be cured of you mad desires," The golden deer told me.

 "I think what he needs is a Phoenix Down," A new voice said.

"Who intrudes?" questioned the now pissed off deer(at least I think he was mad. Hard to tell really)

"Intrudes?" the voice said, "Bitch I go where I please."

"Ah, Apathetic One, what is it that you want?"

 "Hey! If anyone is apathetic here it's you," the voice replied, "Now get your sorry excuse to exist out of here before I have to actually do something, venison."

 "Apathetic One you are the one that has entered my domain uninvited.  Again, why have you come?"

 "I don't feel like telling you," the playful voice said in a childish manner. (Not a child)

 "Then leave my domain," The 'angry?' deer said.

"Fine then I'm taking the kid," the strange voice said.

 "That is why you have come?  Why have you taken an interest in the child of chaos?"

 "He's one of the only entertaining things I have seen in this game for a really long time," Awesome voice said.

"It is sad to see you taking joy in their flaws, Apathetic One," Buzz-kill Bambi said.

 "Why should I give you the child of chaos?  You threaten me but you seem to forget this is my domain and here you hold no power."

"Are you brave enough to back your claim?" The heroic voice said.

 "If need be I shall," said the dickish voice.

"Eh your boring anyway," the voice said, "I'm mean seriously Slendy is much more entertaining than you, deer meat. And why would I let you take away a channel to watch?"

"So you shall leave my domain?" the deer asked the voice.

"No."

"This child's soul has been poisoned and I will purify it," the Prince of the Forest of Boredom said. (Man he just won't quit with that curing shtick will he?)

"I could annoy you for eternity you know," the voice said.

"This grows old.  This is your last chance Apathetic One," the deer trying to be scary said

A man in a grey suit and blue dress shirt appeared in front of me between me and the stag. He then slapped me. After that I woke up in the RV at the table next to the man eating cereal.

"Morning sunshine," he said in between bites

"Who the hell are you?" I asked utterly confused

He didn't answer, just continued to eat.

"Well?" I asked him getting annoyed.

"Hey," the man said, "I am eating it's rude to have a conversation with someone eating."

He went back to eating every bite I got more annoyed. He finally finished after eating the entire box. To bad those anime ticked off marks don't exist. He took my favorite cereal.

"Now who the hell are you?" I said pissed off.

"You're so easy to tick off," the man said, "That dumbass deer feeds off that, you know."

"He feeds off what?" I asked.

"Anger," he said as if I was a child (which you are), "do I have to spell it out for you?"

"No," I growled, "Can you tell me who you are now?"

"Hmmm," the man voiced thinking, "Well since I don't really play like the others you can call me Spectator."

"What do you mean you don't play?" I asked, "Wait you mean The Game, that Door guy was talking about is actually something?

"Door?" Spectator asked, "Oh! You mean that Psuedo that's possessing your bud."

"Psuedo?" I asked him.

"You know false, wanna-be, not even good enough to be like bambi," he explained.

"Why did you save me?" I asked him

"Your interesting kid," he said putting his hand on my shoulder, "You remind me of me when I was your age, super-duper long ago."

"How long is that child way of explaining time?" I said (Not A Child)

"I don't know a day......or is it three millennia," he pondered aloud, "I don't know I suck with time. See ya around kid." And then he disappeared.

That was a crazy as HELL weekend. End of Post. NEXT TIME ON DRAGON BALL Z! This isn't DBZ. Be cool if it was.

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Saturday Part 2

As you know from the last post we went to a graveyard, all because genius here thought it would be a good idea. Hey don't ruin the story. Well I'm smarter than you. We the same person. I'm still smarter.

"Why are we randomly walking through this graveyard?" Trish asked in utter confusion.

"I...uh...ur...I've...I've got no idea," I told her.

"You are really strange you know that," she said.

"Yeah I know," I said before pausing randomly, "I wonder if the Easter Bunny and Master Chief are gonna have Thanksgiving together again."

She was made even more confused by that statement.

"You know since I really have no reason to be here," I said still wondering why I came into the graveyard, "We should probably go."

"Halt," a voice said to me from behind. I turned and saw a gold Patronus/Xerneus like deer. And it talked. 

I leaned over to Trish and whispered, "I'm not the only one that sees the ahead of schedule release of Pokemon X's shiny legendary that is talking to us am I?" Yay! Free game! To bad it's the Lost Silver edition. Wouldn't it be Lost Chromosome?

She just nodded quietly not sure if to be afraid or curious.

"Poor, sick child," said the almighty deer fairy, "Do not worry though for I shall fix you."  And then I collapsed.

Monday, September 23, 2013

Saturday Part One

Well for those that read the comments, I got a message from a "Proxy?" named Runner. And those that read Wars blog he is a "friend?" of Freds. I'm really confused. Especially since we kind of annouced to the world that we want to kill proxies. Well it's more like a less violent  Jason Todd, I kill them if they kill other people. What if they sell drugs to kid? Like I said a less violent Jason Todd. I will beat the shit of them. You know that doesn't sound less violent. Hey Jason Todd kills people for doing most crimes. Oh right went to meet Runner.

For some reason he wanted to meet in a BAM! Book-a-Million! In other words. Hey I got no complaints I catch up on comic books. I met L I mean Overweight L wait no that's not right. Oh right he's called Runner. Damn you Kyle why do I even know what L looks like. Yeah he kind of already is with the whole Door thing. Damn you again!

"Hello Mr. Virgil or do you prefer being called Source now," Runner L said.

"Ehhhhhh! It's an either or thing," I replied to Obese L.

"Very well," he said before looking over at Trish, "Ah! Ms. Trish how is your time with Mr. Source?"

"Good," she said trying to say behind me unsure of Runner

"Glad to hear it," Runner told her with a smile.

"Before you creep me out more from how polite you are can we get down to business?" I asked him.

"Very well," Runner told me, "I wanted to give you a warning that you have been assigned a Proxy."

"Okay I can just put a bullet through his head, decapitate him, and burn him," I told Runner coldly.

Trish looked at me in utter shock.

"Hey it's what you gotta do in this Dark Age," I said to Trish.

"I have to admit I agree with her it seems a little extreme," he said, "But then again I guess we are bias on the matter."

"Well I'll have to see what he or she's like," I told Runner, "But if he is a psychopath that kills for pleasure, like Cutie Mark was, I'm kind of gonna have to do that."

"I feel you might get a different feeling of this agent," he told me, "Actually I think you two might get along very nicely."

"Okay fine," I said, "But the first violent action towards me or Trish and he's going to be worse off than the Headless Horseman."

"Uh, okay," said Runner.  "There was another reason I asked you here though.  Warrior."

"Okay?" I said confused.

"If you have reading his blog lately," he said, "You should know that he has been beating himself up lately," he explained, "If you could talk to him and convince him to stop dwelling on the past."

"Eh! He'll work it out himself," I said.

"He'll likely get himself killed before that happens," L wanna-be said

"He's your friend isn't he shouldn't you help him," Trish said speaking up.

"Look if I run into him I'll try to help but I have to worry about you and me as of now thanks to Slendy taking interest again," he told her, "So I kind have to stay away from my friends because Proxies and the tall guy tend to make traps when people plan to help each other."

"Thank you I appreciate it," Runner dude said, "You know you are the only one he has now that Kyle is missing. I am more of an acquaintance anyway."

After planning on heading outside of town to camp I past a graveyard and felt like I was meant to go there.

"Why does the name look so familiar?" I asked myself out loud. Hey I'm kind of crazy talking to myself is a given, "OH! This is the graveyard that was mentioned Interview #2 I looked this place up for Kyle." Ah! The good old days. I don't remember those. That's because we weren't around. Good times. Hey! I find that insulting! Perceptive aren't you.

"We're visiting the graveyard,"I said parking on the side of the road.

"What?" Trish asked in utter confusion.

I admittedly kind of ignored her. I don't really know why. Well now I do. Didn't at the time. We'll get to that later but I'm tired after all the crazy stuff that happened. You're telling me. And we're voice in your head. CLIFFHANGER! Like Young Justice Bitches. Sorry didn't mean to insult you by calling you that but it fits.

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Trish Log

Hello, my name is Beatrice, Trish for short. Virgil told my to checkout this blog to find out about him and he told me to post so that his and Kyle's readers know more about me. These guys have been though some crazy things. Not that I haven't but still, holy crap! So here's my story.

3 months ago I started having these weird ass nightmares where I was running through the woods around what seemed like dusk. Right at the end of the dream I ran into a black tree, which cause wake up. Figure I need to stop eating dinner before heading to bed. A few weeks later, I was heading home on the bus. Not sure why Kyle thought it was a tour bus. I mean the most important place in my hometown was the local Starbucks, and there are like three of those there. Anyway, I saw the faceless bastard out the window with those weird tentacles coming out of his back. I freak the hell out. And from the earlier blog post you know what the crowd reaction to my freaking out was. Bunch of assholes. Glad I took Kyle's advice and started running. I sucks running from "him", miss my family, mainly my little sister, and my friend too. After traveling on my own I was really tired, mostly because I was scared to stay anywhere long enough to actually sleep. Then Virgil came offering safe way to travel and his protection and knowledge since I am not used to this. He's a good guy. He helped me out even if he is....eccentric.

I hope Kyle's okay I mean if it weren't for him I don't know where I would be right now.

Sunday, September 15, 2013

Knight of the Realm. Cause we are basically in a new Dark Age.

       Sorry for not posting in awhile. Yeah we figured it would be better to keep a low profile instead of Proxy hunting like War is doing. Why can't we just kill like one or two! Because we don't need Slendy on our tail. I mean look what happened to Sanna lately. Yeah getting kidnapped by Symbiote Morningstar and tortured is not good. Granted we were already tortured like that. We still have nightmares about those months. Hey both of you stop thinking about back then we start feeling the pain all over my body when you do. I'm worried about Sanna now. Yeah but we are in the US, we have no way of getting to where ever she is in Europe. I hope she doesn't end up as insane as we are. 

       The reason for this post wasn't to feel guilty for what Symbiote Morningstar did to Sanna. True it's to tell everyone about who we found on our hiatus. That adorably cute girl we stood up for on that! Her name is Trish. We have decided to take her in under our protection. After all gotta help the cuties when you can. Tis the way of a gentleman. Chivalry for the win! She was tired so she is sleeping now in Kyle's bed in the back. We have been using the couch in here anyway. It would be rude to have her sleep out here.