Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Three Flavors of Madness (with skittles*)

* Please note skittles are not included.  Sorry.

Today started out annoying. Kyle would not shut up about Shin Megami Tensei IV. I wanted to stab him, in the hands, just so he couldn't play the damn thing. Upside I got Deadpool the Game. BULLETS YEAH!!!!!! Also why can you use the Equalizer when you have no more bullets. Oh right getting off track. When we got back we met up with and old friend. Kyle face didn't like it.

“OH MY GOD!!!! IT'S A ZOMBIE!!! With really cute hair!” I said to the revived Cutie Mark.

“Dude she dead move on,” Kyle told me.

“I have,” I told him, “Especially after meeting that cute girl on that bus the other day. Also she is a zombie, which necrophilia, not a fan.”

“How do you do?” CM said, “Wait I don't really care I'm going to kill you.”

“Are you sure you don't want to eat our brains?” I asked teasing her.

“Don't temp me,” she replied.

After our little exchange I throw a punch at her. She caught it and threw me out a window. GLASS IS EVERYWHERE (in my back). Well not anymore, I got it all out. Kyle ran out and helped me up and aimed his gun at CM.

“Good plan,” I said, “Zombie are weak to headshots.”

Kyle pulled the trigger and hit CM in between the eyes. Her head fell backwards.

Yay! We killed her,” I said, “How many times is that?”

Her head snapped back up.

“Son of a,” Kyle said feeling disappointed.

OH!!! MY!!! GOD!!! IT'S A ZOMBIE IMMUNE TO HEADSHOTS!!! WERE ALL DOOMED!!!” I said panicking, “Wait we can just decapitate her. YAY!!! DECAPITATION SOLVES EVERYTHING!!!!,” I said calming down rapidly, “Didn't you say that about fire....and bullets. Shhhhhhh! No one needs to know about that,” I told myself.

My god I'm insane. YAY! INSANITY FUN! Get back on track. Sorry. BUT THERE'S VIOLENCE EVERYWHERE. We still need to tell the readers about the story. FINE! So I started throwing knives at her. Of course being the cheater she is, she teleported away from my knives. She then cut the fuck out of us. With her stupid Path powers. Then the bitch fucking traquilizes me. WHY DOES SHE EVEN HAVE THAT! She a proxy don't question it. Just like you don't question Deadpool. I thought it was Pinkie Pie you don't question. DAMN IT LEO!  She teleported to Kyle. Somehow he landed a hit on her. Weather or not it was predicted or dumbass luck I don't know. Probably dumbass luck. He grabs his knife and jumps. I guess he was trying to decapitate her. With a knife? Well it was a pretty good size. And it was the sharpest thing he had at the time. Right after he jumps on her she teleports. AND POOF!!! THEY BE GONE. Poor literacy is not not cool. Bottom line I'm in the RV by myself playing Deadpool. Kyle's been gone for a while. He'll probably be back.

And this is Source in case you couldn't tell.


  1. ...False advertising. NOT COOL. Skittles or GTFO.

  2. And then he was Firecracker. I was Firecracker. You were Firecracker. Everyone was Firecracker.