Sunday, March 10, 2013

Assault

I was attacked today.  I was walking into my camper when I was hit hard in the back and fell to the floor.  I turned around to see a figure in a white hoodie with a knife laughing to himself.  "Get up Kyle," he told me.  I did though slowly and watching for him to make some move.  This man in front of me had black hair that reached down to his shoulders, a white face, and black circles that surrounded both of his eyes.  It can't be, I though to myself, and I was right.   I looked a little closer and noticed that it was face paint the man was wearing.

 "Do you know who I am?" he asked
"No," I confessed, "but I know who you aren't, Jeff."  Unsurprisingly this angered him.
"What of course I am," he said switching between yelling and mumbling to himself ever word.
"Sure.  Of course you are."
"I can see why both the master and the Warrior want your punk ass dead."
"I'm a dick, I know.  Everyone seems to be telling me that.  Now why are you here?" I questioned.
"The Warrior sent me to tell you that your friend is still alive, and we're waiting for for you to join us at <location>."
"Why the hell would Fred tell me this?"
"'What good is a warrior and his army if he has no one to fight?'" Not-Jeff quoted, I think.  I started to edge back a little towards the counter as if to steady myself, and slowly started to open a drawer.
"So Fred wants he to run in on a suicide mission just so he can kill me?  What a great friend and he even provided a nice location for me to die," I said as sarcastically as I could.  "Great, thanks for the message.  You can leave now."  Not-Jeff paused for a moment looking at his knife.
"I can't kill you, Kyle, but the Warrior did say that I could leave a few scars!"  The maniac jumped towards me with his knife ready to carve my flesh.  "Go to sleep." he whispered.  By this time I already pulled my gun out of the drawer and fired it.  For a blind shot I was very lucky because the bullet went into the forearm of the arm hold the knife.  No  Not-Jeff screamed in pain as he ran out the already open door.  Why do proxies always forget melee weapons don't work as well against a guy with a gun?  Oh well it helps me out so I'm glad for it.

Overall a boring day.

6 comments:

  1. Not-Jeff sounds like a gobshite. Is he working under Fred, or was it just a favour?

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    1. I was wondering the same thing because he seemed like it was more of an order than a favor, but you can't be too sure. I did look back and noticed on the video in "Mistakes" Fred did mention a Jeff, so maybe he is part of Fred's "army."

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  2. You may want to move on. Once the proxies come, slenderman isn't too far behind.

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    1. Has our slender friend been going after you? It seems a little odd that he hasn't made a personal appearance himself, not to mention a little worrying.

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    2. Actually now that you mention it I haven't seen him since christmas only proxies. Not sure if that's good or bad news.

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    3. Probably better that way; I'd rather see a bloke with no face when the days are getting lighter. Unless you're in the southern hemisphere. Or maybe daylight doesn't help.

      Curious - do proxies attack in public? I was wondering if sticking to more public places might help you, barring the Bystander Effect. pHIL's idea of moving around is probably worth considering, too.

      Hmm, I'm not very good at giving advice, but it seems you have your priorities in order anyway.

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