I was attacked today. I was walking into my camper when I was hit hard in the back and fell to the floor. I turned around to see a figure in a white hoodie with a knife laughing to himself. "Get up Kyle," he told me. I did though slowly and watching for him to make some move. This man in front of me had black hair that reached down to his shoulders, a white face, and black circles that surrounded both of his eyes. It can't be, I though to myself, and I was right. I looked a little closer and noticed that it was face paint the man was wearing.
"Do you know who I am?" he asked
"No," I confessed, "but I know who you aren't, Jeff." Unsurprisingly this angered him.
"What of course I am," he said switching between yelling and mumbling to himself ever word.
"Sure. Of course you are."
"I can see why both the master and the Warrior want your punk ass dead."
"I'm a dick, I know. Everyone seems to be telling me that. Now why are you here?" I questioned.
"The Warrior sent me to tell you that your friend is still alive, and we're waiting for for you to join us at <location>."
"Why the hell would Fred tell me this?"
"'What good is a warrior and his army if he has no one to fight?'" Not-Jeff quoted, I think. I started to edge back a little towards the counter as if to steady myself, and slowly started to open a drawer.
"So Fred wants he to run in on a suicide mission just so he can kill me? What a great friend and he even provided a nice location for me to die," I said as sarcastically as I could. "Great, thanks for the message. You can leave now." Not-Jeff paused for a moment looking at his knife.
"I can't kill you, Kyle, but the Warrior did say that I could leave a few scars!" The maniac jumped towards me with his knife ready to carve my flesh. "Go to sleep." he whispered. By this time I already pulled my gun out of the drawer and fired it. For a blind shot I was very lucky because the bullet went into the forearm of the arm hold the knife. No Not-Jeff screamed in pain as he ran out the already open door. Why do proxies always forget melee weapons don't work as well against a guy with a gun? Oh well it helps me out so I'm glad for it.
Overall a boring day.